Self-Care Vs Therapy
At the end of my sessions, I try and remind my clients about self-care and self-compassion. Therapy sessions can feel like a release. But they can also be extremely triggering. This is normal. And it’s ok. I believe therapy is being mindful of both the negative and positive parts of ourselves and accepting that both exist. It brings awareness of our negative and positive emotions. Our negative and positive experiences. We process them together and allow the thoughts and emotions to come. We use self-love, we then move on and draw out what is fruitful.
My practice includes reconnecting our bodies and minds. If you are not practicing your own self-care following sessions, progress is hindered. Resentment will come and life will become foggy. We are rehashing childhood traumas and stressful family dynamics - this reminds our bodies and minds of these experiences. Our bodies remember and they will react. Increased anxiety, depression, anger. This is normal. Self-care and kindness helps manage these symptoms. Then, you can continue to move forward in treatment and brave the storm.
With that, I wanted to share a little about my own self-care. Although, I definitely don’t keep up as much as I would like, I know when I use these practices consistently, it helps. Self-care looks different for everyone. It is trial and error. Sometimes a technique you are using now, might not work later. Self-care is not meant to be another burden that we feel we are failing at. If we did not complete our self-care routine that day, it’s ok. There is another day to start again tomorrow.
I try to be kind to myself throughout the day. When I am not as productive, when I am not as motivated, I choose kindness over depletion. I show compassion for myself. I will repeat phrases like “you are enough” or “you’re a bad ass!” It feels significantly harder to be kind to ourselves than to others. I give myself a break and remind myself “this season will pass” and tomorrow will be better.
Every morning and every night I have a pretty extensive skin care routine. This is my time to show some self-love. It is a reminder that the first thing I do in the morning, is to make sure to put my own oxygen mask on. During my skin care routine, I like to listen to a morning mediation. I use the app “Relax Melodies” which I love! It has so many different meditations for different scenarios. After my morning skin care routine, I’ll make sure to take the time to eat some breakfast and make my coffee! If you’re a little boujie like me, adding some frothed milk makes it even more dreamy.
During this pandemic, I have been more and more drawn to mindfulness and meditation. The “square” technique. Imagine a square. Move across each line. In through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, out of the mouth for 4 seconds and hold for 4 seconds. It’s like magic, honestly. When anxiety and stress creep into my chest, I can recalibrate.
I also enjoy taking my dog, Bella for a walk. It has been sunny the last couple of days and using mindfulness while I walk is extremely helpful. Enjoying the feeling of the sun on my face and hearing the birds chirping is soothing. This is something I make sure to do in the middle of my day to break it up.
In-between sessions, I will make sure to stand-up, stretch and take a walk outside of my home-office. When I feel like I haven’t moved all day, I can feel the heaviness on my chest and lower back. I make sure to keep my body moving as much as I can.
Following my nightly skin care routine, I will make sure to end my day with a nighttime meditation. Again, “Relax Melodies” has some wonderful meditations that put me out! My brain and body can relax from the stress of the day and I can move forward into rest.
Stress manifests itself in our bodies. We need to get our bodies moving to manage that stress. I go to the gym 2-3 times per week to keep my body moving and my blood pumping. I like to dance to myself and look like a complete goofball. Listen to “Take On Me” by A-ha! Guaranteed to get those hips moving.
I will make sure to connect with friends or family at least once per week. I am a huge extrovert so this pandemic has been especially challenging socially (shout-out to my extroverts!). I make sure to fulfill this need with connecting with friends either through Zoom or Facetime. If I’m lucky I will engage in outdoor activities with friends or family while wearing masks. This pandemic has been extremely isolating and it is important to remain connected while also keeping everyone safe.
I hope this helps you reflect on your own self-care. Feel free to share about your own challenges with self-care and what has worked for you :)
